Just like an onion has layers, we too have layers. And within each layer, there’s an opportunity to heal.
I was abused as a child. And no one believed me. A double punch in the face, I guess you could say. Since no one believed me, I kinda tucked it aside. Buried it. As deep as I could. But without knowing, every time I was around others, I’d freeze and hide within myself. (The body remembers and reacts). Kinda like a turtle. Except I was still visible and not at all protected.
I often found myself thinking of the worst case scenarios during these times. “How was I going to be hurt today,” kind of thoughts. And often times, those negative thoughts set me up for more than I could handle.
As I allowed God to work within my life, my thoughts were the first to change. No more negativity and tons more faith. Yet, as often as I tried to not think about my childhood trauma, God was making me face it head on. At one time, I couldn’t say my first abusers name at all. He was known as “him” or “THAT man.” Now I can say his name. Mr. Brown.
As God required me to face Mr. Brown, my emptiness turned into bitterness and anger. He didn’t deserve the Mr. part of his name for taking away my Soul, I thought. But God asked me to forgive him. As well as myself. Him for the abuse and myself for holding onto the pain for as long as I had.
I wrote him, as well as myself, beautiful letters expressing my sorrow and forgiveness. (For my eyes only letters). I made sure to be truthful and only speak from Gods heart. I didn’t blame. I didn’t place hatred there. In fact, I gave compassion. That was Sept 14 2018, almost two years ago. That was also the day that God rewarded me for my bravery and heart. He gave me the mind I had lost after my auto accident and I began to write again.
From time to time, after that day, emotions resurface. Another layer is being asked to be healed. And I cry from that same abuse. I’ve been through many layers. So many, I can’t count. Pain goes deep. And in order to be completely healed, I must face them and allow these emotions to be felt without regret, bitterness, grudge or blame.
The picture below was from early on this month when the news of child sexual abuse hit my feed. I felt it. Oh, how I felt it. Just as I am yet again today. I wanted to lash out in anger and pain. I wanted to share the news. I wanted to curse!! But God reminded me, “Your pain and the world is talking. Not your Heart, your Soul or the Spirit” And so I never became a part of it. Instead I was still. And so today, I shed another layer of pain and limitation. Not just for myself, but for the world.
Everything we see, with a reaction, has a reason for it. Not for each of us to become a part of it but instead, to heal from it. Our pain goes deeper than our own. It’s the worlds pain too. And we can help the world heal by first, healing ourselves then assisting in the worlds healing process.
The veil can’t be lifted if we stay within the veil. Love, God said, “Love will save humanity.” It’s not our pain, our limitations, our negative mindset, that will create the change that we seek.
It. Is. Only. Love.
Allow your heart to heal. If you feel it when you see it, it’s God working behind the scenes asking you to remove it.
The purging process can be fierce, but it can set you free.
Don’t spread the pain of the world. Transcend it with Love.
Vibrate higher than the worlds pain.
I heal myself because I Love the World. ?✨
Much Love, health and healing, Christy.
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✨ Please note that I am not a medical doctor. If you feel that what you’re experiencing needs medical attention, please seek it. My videos are for information purposes only that pertains to the awakening process and are purely my thoughts and experiences.
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Just like an onion has layers, we too have layers. And within each layer, there’s an opportunity to heal. I was abused as a child. And no one believed me. A …